Whether the loss was sudden or you could anticipate it, as soon as you understood and accepted that someone you love was dead or dying, you began the grueling work of grieving.

It looks different for everyone because we all experience grief in our own way, but on some level, we all struggle to understand ourselves and the world around us in the face of profound loss.

Then over time, you only feel a bit odd now and then – like I’m a 5’2 woman unwilling to let go of the 6’1 man’s tweed suit from circa 1950 that’s hanging in my closet.įortunately, I also have good news when it comes to grief, crazy is the new normal. In the beginning, you feel totally out of sorts – like lashing out at everyone, crying over everything, wearing the same sweatpants for a week insane. I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you grief makes you feel like you’re going crazy. You will never be forgotten.Is this Normal?, Grief Articles for Beginners To live lives that the innocent victims of this tragedy dreamt about but sadly will now never be able to fulfill. Last night, the lives of many were forever changed and it is up to us to be better people. Wishing that those I love knew just how much, wishing that they knew that no matter what happened to me, to keep believing in the good in people. As I lay down in the blood of strangers and waiting for my bullet to end my mere 22 years, I envisioned every face that I have ever loved and whispered I love you. It was thinking of the people they loved. And truly believing that I would join them, I promise that their last thoughts were not on the animals who caused all this. I feel privileged to be there for their last breaths. To live lives that the innocent victims of this tragedy dreamt about but sadly will now never be able to fulfill.'īut most of this is to the 80 people who were murdered inside that venue, who weren't as lucky, who didn't get to wake up today and to all the pain that their friends and families are going through. She concludes: 'It is up to us to be better people. To the man who reassured me and put his life on the line to try and cover my brain whilst I whimpered, to the couple whose last words of love kept me believing the good in the world, to the police who succeeded in rescuing hundreds of people, to the complete strangers who picked me up from the road and consoled me during the 45 minutes I truly believed the boy I loved was dead, to the injured man who I had mistaken for him and then on my recognition that he was not Amaury, held me and told me everything was going to be fine despite being all alone and scared himself, to the woman who opened her doors to the survivors, to the friend who offered me shelter and went out to buy new clothes so I wouldn't have to wear this blood stained top, to all of you who have sent caring messages of support - you make me believe this world has the potential to be better. Bowdery also describes the heroes of the night: the strangers who helped her, and the friend who bought her new clothes so she wouldn't have to wear her bloodstained top.īut being a survivor of this horror lets me able to shed light on the heroes.

I am pretending that i am dead